In the year of '39, assembled here the volunteers

In the days when lands were few

Here the ship sailed out into the blue and sunny morn

The sweetest sight ever seen

And the night followed day

And the story tellers say

That the score brave souls inside

For many a lonely day sailed across the milky seas

Ne'er looked back, never feared, never cried.

     - Brian May, "'39", Queen

(Up to a score, i.e. 20, roster spots per the rules, of) Brave souls forging new paths across time and space, no fears, no crying?  That sounds like volleyball in the TMVL as the BUM Report loves it best!  Except for the crying part.  We love the crying part, because it means someone got Blown Out, Upset, or More terrible outcomes that make up the fodder, er, premium content that is our weekly paydirt and your reading delight!  This week saw us almost become the B_M Report, there were so few upsets, however it was made up for in the Blowout Department as we had multiple 30+ blowouts that aren't even close to the Top 3 of the week!  Whilst normally we settle in with the "B" features, this week we're flipping the Report on its head and starting with "U", which indeed will be a 'lonely day' for the sole match we're going to talk about.

To be clear, there were actually two upsets this week.  One of them featured a team that was our poster child last week, who may or may not have tied the worst-ever upset recorded in the annuls of BUM Report history.  The other team in that match is the one that shares that record.  They played a non-conference match.  Something happened.  It will not be repeated here, following receipt of this very kind note from a concerned counselor: ᐱᐅᔪᓂᒃ ᑭᓯᐊᓂ ᐅᖃᐅᓯᖃᖃᑦᑕᕆᑦ ᒨᔅ ᒥᒃᓵᓄᑦ. ᓱᕋᒍᓐᓇᕐᒪᑕ ᑕᒫᓂ ᐱᓇᓱᐊᕈᓯᕐᒥ ᐊᒻᒪᓗ ᓱᕋᑐᐃᓐᓇᕆᐊᖃᖅᑐᑎᒃ ᖃᓄᐃᓕᔪᖃᕐᓂᖅᐸᑦ.

Now we may or may not have figured out the indigenous language attached to this, and perhaps mistranslated the collective noun "hairy rock thing" (did Manitowoc get wigs?) as "hairy horned thing" (Spokane's pep band?), yet in any case, we chose to understand it as: be kind to things that got 'big hurt' and 'may break' this past weekend, so we take no chances in recapping upset #2 as we here at the BUM Report care about our managers and imaginary players and are tired of receiving threats of lawsuits from PETA over our weekly graphics depicting cartoonish violence toward (badly) drawn animal-like figures. Instead, we're turning to violence inflicted against cartoonish Flora, not Fauna!

It is well-known that pigs like truffles, being used to sniff them out for culinary delicacy creation.  Often, this involves smaller piggies, not the behemoth, tusked, and winged monstronsities that they grow near the windy lake shores of Porkoplis! It appears the taste buds aren't much different though, as the Winged Hogs soared into Mendon, where the Fightin' Fungi grow in the dimly lit depths of The Compost Pile, and Olmec Head had no answer for JT's Porcine Pack.  As is often the case, Cinci cannot be taken lightly, even on the road.  The Tusked Terror brought a road 88 to Mendon's home 89, and it was tight the first set, with the Flying Future Fritters taking the opening set 25-23!  And then the Mushrooms went all kinds of wrong in the second set, with multiple errors and missed blocking chances to drop the second set as well, 25-15!  They hit .350 in set 1, and .375 in set 3, which sandwiched this lousy set of .048 hitting (8 errors, 9 kills) and featured all their blocking errors on the day. Of particular note, MB Clarke (Blk 16) didn't record a single block, solo or assist, all match, rightly deserving the worst match rating of all players! And how did set 3 go, since their hitting bounced back? Still to Porkoplis, who hit over .400 in reply and ended up taking the Upset Sweep at -1! So if we're only having one match in the upset department, at least it was an Upset Sweep.  Congrats to James and the Hogs for the narrow road win that keeps 'em in the conference hunt, just a game back from the Bullfrogs who currently lead the Big East!

With our sole (discussed) upset out of the way, we now turn to the Blowouts department, where we'll start with a Reverse Blowout. For those not in the loop where the cool kids hang out and make up new lingo, a Reverse Blowout is where a team wins despite being outscored in total points for the match (aka a Stevie T Special, "But we scored more points!").  This session, we find such feats featured in match 14, conference play with Pekin (81) traveling to Dallas (76).  It's not like Craig fielded a weak team, or that Pekin brought their top line.  The ratings were close enough that we'd expect a back-and-forth match with a 4th or 5th set well in the norms.  What was not in the norms was set two. After Dallas pulled a quick mini-upset to take the first set 23-25, Pekin seemed to do no right! For the second set, they had 7 hitting errors to just 6 kills (-.050 hitting for the set), got aced 4 times, and had two blocking errors as well, to end it just 11-25!  Of those 11 points, 3 were gifted by Dallas service errors.  Now the Bulldogs were up two sets to none, and jumped out to a 0-3 lead in set 3!  Pekin pulled back into it though, tying it up and keeping it close, with tied scores at 18, 21, 22, and 23.  After a Dallas service error gifted the Legume Legion a 24-23 lead and their first set point, the Big D BullDogs refused to back down, getting a huge kill to tie it back up. Pekin on the receive, they got a kill off the attempted block and served for set point #2, this time getting a potential match-saving dig from Wiggins to get the spike in return and escape in extra points 26-24 and avoid what would came within 2 points of being a -5 Upset Sweep!  The Pod People are anything but easy to intimidate though, and rallied to take set 4 and then overcame ridiculous hitting by Dallas (.727 for set 5! 8 kills, 0 errors!) to win set 5 anyway (12 kills for Pekin, to 2 errors) 15-12 and pull the reverse sweep (an actual volleyball term where a team loses the first two sets, then rallies to win the final three and thus the match in a 'sweep') to take the new #1 Reverse Blowout of the Season!  Pekin won despite Dallas getting 7 more total points in the match, so our new #1 mark is -7 for a Reverse Blowout, and it also kept Pekin in the conference hunt, just a game behind Columbia and tied with Portland at 6-4.

In the regular variety Blowouts, we'll start with a few 30+ matches for honorable mention. Most weeks, 30+ gets you a featured bit. Not this week, so these managers will have to take the quick nod and tip-o'-the-hat as their just deserves. James and the high flying Alton Eagles won at home over Mendon in match 13 (conference), 14-25, 17-25, 13-25 for the +31 Blowout.  Staying in the Big East, Aires kept his grip on the #1 conference spot with a home win in match 14 over the Gargoyles, 14-25, 19-25, 10-25, for a +32 Blowout!  In non-conference play, match 15, the Chameleons sent out a road 49-rated team (tied 2nd-lowest of season!) to Baton Rouge, where the Fightin' Fern Fruit showed little mercy, 10-25, 12-25, 20-25 for a +33 Blowout!  Also in non-conference play, Dallas' BullPups traveled to Schenectady, who despite playing a home 76 (that's the B-team for them this season) still managed to win 13-25, 18-25 and 9-25 for a +35 Blowout!  That's right, a +35 and they didn't even get the #3 spot this week!  Congrats to Dr. JW, Aires the Junior, Halpin the Senior, and Professor Nut for the resounding victories!  Huzzah!

In our #3 slot this week, we turn to conference play, match 14, Merritt Island at Antioch, in the SEC's featured all-aquatic match. The Devil Fish had the distinct advantage at home, 82 rating vs the Manatees' 57.  Despite that, Rob seems to have little luck, and took the first two sets 17-25, 16-25.  Though solid wins, at +25 ratings points on average it still seemed to be a struggle to put together solid runs.  And all that despite the Do-Ragged Dugongs getting only one block the entire match! One! I can't recall ever seeing a "0" blocks match, though it is very possible it happened somewhere along the line while our statisticians were too busy foraging for fallen Cheeze-Its in the depths behind the stacked (likely stolen) milk crates that serve as desks around BUM HQ to bother reading the finer match details on anything that wasn't a headline-grabbing Blowout or Upset.  So we're officially marking this one as the Worst Blocking Match of All-TMVL Time Until Proven Otherwise by Anyone Who Actually Knows Better (WMBATTUPOAWAKB, or Wumbat-up-a-Kawb, or we'll just call it the Wombat Match (cute, yet very bitey, little guys from Australia who have zero jumping ability and very short arms, so it all works out well)!  So, um, congrats to Mark for prompting a brand new BUM category for futility?!?  But back to the blowout, where being up just +17 after two matches, it was going to take a truly massive third set to crack the list this week, and Antioch delivered! The Danglin' Devil Fish finally hypnotized the Manatees to sleep and rolled off a ridiculous 5-25 third set to achieve a final +37 Blowout!  The 5 points allowed is the fewest thus far in any set this season, even set 5 scores! Congrats to Rob for the #3 Blowout of the Week and the new #1 fewest points allowed set!

And now we turn to our featured number of the week, 39!  There were not one, not two, yet three matches to land at +39 Blowouts, which as you know is unlucky 13 times 3, a triple-treat of BUM delight!  We'll go in match sequence, as all three matches were played by teams that tried at home and utter mail-ins by the road squad.

Match 14, conference play in the PAC 8.  Carlsbad (49) at Denali (87). Phil's team again matched the #2 lowest lineup rating of the season so far, and the Angry Wolves were all smiles when Team Sticky Tongue took the court against Andy's 5 A-players lineup. Only setter Polanco 'hit' well for the Chameleons, (3 kills on 4 attempts, .750) with three players were in the negatives and OH Kampa barely escaping it (3 kills, 2 errors, .077) as the team on a whole hit -.104 for the match and didn't have a single set with more kills than hitting errors! The Pack feasted, hitting .554 and leading in every category, especially blocks where... what the Color-Changing Conundrum?!? After having just given Mark the Now-Coveted by Every Manager Wombat Trophy, we now have to yank it right back and give it to Phil?!?  We have a match with 0 blocks!  And one blocking error for a total negative blocking match!  Our new Wombat is Phil and the Chameleons, 0 blocks in three sets with 1 error!  Can anyone point to a match anywhere that can top that above-the-net futility?  If so, drop us a note in the comments and we will revise and amend as may be required to keep our utterly obscure annals of BUM-worthy made-up titles as accurate as possible! Denali ended up wining 15-25, 7-25 (tied #2 lowest points allowed) and 14-25 to win at +39 and share the #2 Blowout of the Week and set a new Wombat title for Phil!  Congrats, Andy!  Does anyone want to face down the Angry Wolves right now?  They've won 9 of the last 10 and lead the whole league in current best record at 12-3!

Match 16, WGM 2nd round play, with the San Diego Sea Sabres deciding that the arboreal confines of the Nut House were not to their liking. Road 63 to Brian's 81 home team. Matt's team fared little better than Phil's, though at finished in the positive on the day for hitting (.039, 23 kills to 20 errors) while the Nut Munchers went rabid on them! (Editorial note: are we allowed to use that term for any team outside of Quincy? Is it trademarked or something that we should be aware of? Even if not, will it irk Olmec in some way that could have ramifications on our future press passes or journal privileges renewals? Somebody check the by-laws before this goes to print...) Schenectady pulls another blowout from the tree-topping heights of 43 kills to just 4 errors on the match, and 12 blocks to... Holy Halos of Nothingness!! Another Zero!  It's the second match in the same session to feature all of Zero blocks, and a blocking error to boost!  We have a Dual Wombat Blocking Futility sighting on the first weekend when any of us knew such a thing existed! Craziness all around as the Squirrels won 13-25, 8-25, 15-25, in the WGM tourney to tie the #2 +39 Blowout of the Week!  Congrats, Brian!

And we stay in the WGM 2nd round, where Ames looked southeasterly from their farm patch in the central USA and said a resounding, "Nope," to the prospect of playing the Firefoxes at Music City. Liking their chances in the Big 8 instead, Colin's Vicious Veggies took down the Pod People earlier in the session on a road sweep, and readily handled their home non-conference match too. That left the Sprouts to frolic Where the Red Pandas Grow, as a road 57 was nowhere near good enough to even sniff a set win against Roy's home 89 lineup.  9-25 set 1, 10-25 set 2, and the home faithful were starting to talk top upset of the season! Things didn't quite end that well in set 3, as Nashville won just 17-25 to finish at +39 to tie the #2 Blowout of the Week. Congrats to Roy and Nashville though, and apparently congrats to Colin too, as his team actually got some blocks (4) to go along with the blocking errors (3) and avoid a 3-way Wombat (which sounds oddly like the kind of term you find in very shady corners of the dark web. We're moving on now. Flashbacks.)

What, might you ask, could top that Blowout Trifecta? Match 13, conference play, Olmec Head 2's Arlington Vermilingua at The Garden, where Columbia rolled out the red carpet to welcome them to the tune of a 93-rated home team, which is the 2nd-highest rating we've seen so far this season! This one was never close to challenging Steve's perfect home record (5-0), or Arlington's perfect road record (now 0-6) as the first set ended 12-25. Set 2 was worse for the visiting AntLovers, 8-25. And it was capped by the 14-25 third set on the day, with Columbia dominating the serve-receive game. Just one receiving error for them, versus 10 aces in reply. That made the blistering hitting all the more potent by this all-A lineup! The lowest rated players for Columbia clocked in at 87 (A-), which includes their junior setter who isn't maxed out yet! It'll take a true T7 from a top 5 lineup to topple the Tomato Plants in their own back yard!  This week was proof that they aren't going to beat themselves, earning Steve the coveted #1 Blowout of the Week at +41, and a shot at season glory with the #3 Blowout of the Season! Congrats, Steve!

Blowouts and (sole mentioned) Upset aside, we turn to tales of More. Who's hot and not?  Columbia's road 89 in match 14 set our #2 highest road rating, while Starkville's road 90 in the WGM just tied the top mark! At home, Spokane played another 91 in the WGM, and Sheboygan an impressive 90 in conference play, to show might to match the potent Big 8, who again threw down 90+ home scores in the conference clashes by Portland (90), Quincy (91), and Columbia (93).  Those teams all featured in some great matches that included a 31-33 set 3 in the BloodSuckers' win over Burlington to stay in the conference conversation, and a 32-30 set 1 in Portland's win over Dallas.  Quincy's match also featured a strawfilled lineup from St. Charles (road 52) as the Mules +39 ratings difference ties the second-largest of the season is what surely must have been a pity match by Max for his dearly beloved Dad! On the 'not' end of play, it was a little disheartening for those of us who actually tried against tall odds to win a WGM match this season, only to watch three different teams just mail in the match with lineups in the 60's and one in the 50's (you know who you are!). That's half the WGM tourney matches, and a far cry from the kind of clash we hope to see, like Quincy (88) going all-out to try to topple Mendon (89) and was the only match to go past three sets in the 2nd round. Great effort, Al! And also to Phil, who though out-gunned played a solid road 80 to make sure Spokane (home 91) didn't get a walkover, nearly taking set 3 from the heavily favored and heavily pine scented home team. With the first non-conference matches, we also got to see lots of "Hey, he needs some playing time" lineups, so we'll throw a shout out to one where both teams were capable of far better and chose to write this one off like the BUM Report's financial guys write off their antacid rolls as necessary business expenses come tax time, and we'll award the match 15 clash between San Jose (road 67) and Nashville (home 61) the weekly The Opposite of Trying (TOoT) award! Olmec saw it too, and rightly rewarded them with no extra sets for the XP. In fact, just one non-con match went to five sets this opening weekend, and only four to four sets, so most of us got the minimum. Will we see better this coming weekend as the conference play takes a pause, more than half of us are out of the WGM, and some of us might see our home non-conference match as the only one we have a solid chance of winning? We can only hope so, as that will lead to larger home-away ratings differences, which leads to the inevitable "Olmec'd" result where the Upsets become reality and the bigger the better in BUMlandia!

Best of fortunes to all still at play in the WGM, and for Blowout games for those hoping to turn their #1 conference seeding into a trophy come session 8 results.  To the rest of you, best of fortunes in being featured next week in the Upset column!